"Just the WAY you are”

Long before Bruno Mars came out with his song, ‘Just the way you are’ - the great one, 

Billy Joel coined the phrase, ‘I love you…just the way you are.’ I’m convinced that Bruno couldn’t have received inspiration for his version any other way.

On this day set aside to put into action our love for those that mean so very much to us, I’ve come to realize more than ever what these five words could mean to our Valentine.

Scripture says that if you compare yourself with another…you are not wise. Marriages and other relationships have been destroyed because of this very thing.

For all that ever comes out of these comparisons is absolute ignorance.

Too many live this life with if only…

If only my wife would be like her.
If only our marriage was like them.
If only I could get my life together like him/her.

This year I celebrate 17 years that Susan Hill has been my Valentine. This June will be our 15^th year of marital chaos J. Chaos because life together with your best friend never allows normal to take over. It brings this for the simple reason: best friends are consistently pushing one another to reach for and become more. Average will not do, for greatness is found beyond the ordinary.

I do not claim to know it all, but I do know one thing: Anytime my wife and I have struggled, it can always be traced back to comparing.
If I were more like _____; if she were more like ______; if our marriage could be more like ______; on an on the list goes, which leads to ignorant comments and decisions that are made.

I am so far from perfect. I wake up everyday to climb back into the fight of striving to be a better man, husband, and father. 

Yet, Susan Hill has never tried to change me…she has only challenged me to be better. In other words, she doesn’t compare me to other men in this world, nor does she compare our marriage to another. She loves me just the way I am. That is how we have made it through the ‘chaos’ of these 17 years.

I’m humbled to have been given the greatest gift a man could ever ask for. 

And there is nothing more meaningful one could say to another...
“Su…I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

Billy Joel, sing it for me:

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are.

Disclaimer: Mushy? Yes. Ashamed? No. 

Disconnected

I do not like to admit this publicly, but there are moments when I feel disconnected. We really like for everyone around to feel like that we have everything in order and in its proper place…but quite often I find myself in a place where I’m separated from what I need most. Without fail, when I begin to focus in upon my dilemma, the exact same thing always happens – I try to fix it on my own.

It is my go to reaction to begin the process of figuring out why I’m here and how did I get so far from the connection that I had.

I’ve come to realize that when I try doing things on my own, it is like pushing a car. 

I make progress, but good grief is it ever slow!

(Forest Hill, MD)

In my prayer time today, I shared with God that I simply felt disconnected. While feeling this way for a couple of weeks now, I have spent time trying to seek approval from Him. Basically, I have been depending solely upon my own abilities of ‘good works’ to try and get the job done.

It is a shame to admit, but that is what happens to we humans quite often. We can feel disconnected from Him, or all of a sudden experience difficult times, and we immediately feel like we need to do something to fix it. What we miss is that those ‘moments’ are not to be fixed, they are to be experienced.

I have begun to realize that my character is formed during these times. I loved how I heard it put once: Character is produced through us; it is not manufactured by us.

There is no questioning that God is concerned with where we end up in eternity, but we often fail to realize that He is also tuned in to our journey as well. It can be paralleled with the marriage vow. The culmination of LOVE is not the marriage vows on your wedding day. That moment is the beginning of a lifelong commitment to weather the storms that your relationship will encounter. Those vows will be tested by weak moments when you feel like all hope is lost. And when those times show up, it is imperative that we realize we are not as strong when we are alone. The salvation experience is much the same way: it did not begin with a commitment to SOMETHING – it started with dependence on SOMEBODY.

Jourdelle
(Towson, MD)

This journey with Christ is not about earning something or doing something out of ritual…it is simply about relationship. For when I can’t – He can. And when I feel disconnected, I’ve finally figured out that I need to check my ego at the door. It is not about what I can or cannot do – it is about admitting, “Father, I can’t do this without you.”

(II Corinthians 12:10  - For when I am weak, thou art strong.)

Ridiculously Crazy

Have you ever thought to yourself: If my dreams became the future of all mankind…would this world be better for it?

I have listened to the dreams of my children, and they are so cool. From Sam being a Rockette - to Grady being a Starship Trooper - then over to Max who will play all eleven offensive positions in football (at one time). It is the normal reaction in our minds though to think, ‘just give them a little time until reality sits in and those dreams will adjust. 

REALITY. In my maturation process in life, I have grown to greatly dislike the mention of that word.

Erwin McManus (from his book Wide Awake) said, “Our imagination is not limited…our thinking so often is.” Because of what others have said cannot be done, we often stop short. Amazing how the thoughts of others help us to form our own realities.

Conowingo Dam Area
(Darlington, MD)

How many things in this life would we never have experienced, had we not had someone just ridiculously crazy enough to not let reality stand in his or her way of success? It truly shames me when I think of the prayers I’ve prayed, and the dreams I’ve had that ended up making God wonder why I think so little of Him?

It is the reason why it is so imperative that we “…walk by faith and not by sight.” I feel that it would do all of us good to check in on our dreams and see if they are impossible enough? In other words, are we asking for way to little from the one of who created the heavens and earth?

(Forest Hill, MD)

Why not say to your present reality - 
For WITH GOD nothing shall be impossible.  (Luke 1:37) – then go for it.

Sounds ridiculously crazy!

Business Unfinished

Don’t raise your hand, but how many of you have unfinished business?

I always enjoy a good story where payback is involved. The good guys somehow overcome all sorts of obstacles in order to have the opportunity to go back and take care of some unfinished business with the bad guys.

Having unfinished business can haunt you.
It could be with someone who has wronged you…
Possibly it is with missed opportunities…

You might have even left the road littered with unfinished things that you’ve started, but have yet to complete…

Unfinished business.

(Forest Hill, MD)

How about instead of allowing what is unfinished to haunt us, we open the secret places of our hearts and let it motivate us? Instead of allowing unfinished business to create opportunity to point the finger toward others, we instead turn that finger around and point it where it really belongs.

Susquehanna State Park
(Darlington, MD)

Sometimes all it comes down to is perception. How do we view what is left undone?             A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand. "I really looked hard for that, Mom," said the youth. "How'd you manage to find it?" 

"We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150." (Source Unknown)

Numbers 13: Moses sent 12 spies to check out the land that God had already promised the children of Israel. 10 of them came back saying, “Not on your life. Those dudes over there are giants.” Joshua and Caleb were the only ones that came back motivated by what they saw. Their unfinished business was seen through different lenses.
We can sit to the side and let unfinished business destroy our dream, or we can open up and let it motivate us toward it. All it really comes down to is what we are looking for. 

Keep allowing what is undone to ruin the dream of tomorrow and you will never move past where you are. But start looking for the motivation, and you will accomplish the impossible. 

Cats & Horses

I came across this picture I took recently and spent a few moments just staring at it.

(Forest Hill, MD)

Pictures will do that to you sometimes. You don’t realize at the time you take it what you are possibly capturing. In all the times that I have looked at this picture, I never took the time to notice the cat that was walking around among the horses.

I kind of chuckled because of the symbolism I found in this picture as it relates to my life at times.
You know, there is a big difference in purpose for a horse and a cat. Most horses are fenced in, but everyday they wake up with a designated purpose of carrying riders around or running freely around the pasture. Their boundaries (fences) are set for them and no matter how many times they try to stick their heads through it to eat, they remain where it’s comfortable. They are large enough creatures that most of them could break free, but they choose to remain.

The cat is a whole different story though. I know we have some domesticated kitties who stay inside, but I want to look at the ones who are loose to crawl all over my Jeep after I clean it up!! (SOAPBOX)
These cats have options. They can choose to walk among the horses or they are small enough to slip through most openings and roam freely wherever they choose to go.

(Bel Air, MD)

I wonder which of these creatures would I rather be? So many would be quick to say, ‘I would definitely want to the options that the cat has. I would never want to be fenced in and told where my boundaries are.’ 

So many desire to live in this kind of world, yet what we fail to realize is the indecision that comes with it. When you are allowed to simply roam around searching for what purpose really is, you never stake your claim to what you’ve truly been called to do.

The horse realizes that this is what I was created for. They are trained to realize that their boundaries have been put in their life to find purpose. A horse might be confined to a pasture, but he/she does get a constant supply of hay and fresh baths given frequently.
The cat will wander aimlessly digging through the trash and searching for the next freshly washed car to put their paws on.

In reality, both of these creatures have the option of being free…but I can imagine the horse would tell the cat any day: If you knew what I knew, you would stay in this pasture.

(Forest Hill, MD)

Truth be told, I feel that most of us are symbolically given the options of the cat. There are a few horses in this world whose future is planned for them, but most individuals are given the gift of choice. We can crawl under fences and search the world for what we were created for. It is a beautiful gift that Christ has offered to us. What we must be so careful of is that we don’t wander so far off that we get away from where we are fed. For when we do – a life of purposeless living begins.

Psalm 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 
 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, 
he leads me beside quiet waters, 
 3 he refreshes my soul. 
He guides me along the right paths 
for his name’s sake.  (NIV)

Keep your Powder dry

There is a motto that was used during the American Revolution that said:
"Trust in God but keep your powder dry."

I have been so guilty of living life at times wondering when God is going to just show up and make everything better. We question Him like He is on the witness stand, “Why haven’t you made this better? I don’t understand why life is treating me this way. God, just one thought from you in my direction would make all this mess go away.”

We literally take the ‘Stand Still’ commandment from scripture to a whole other level. We are standing in the same place we were when we first started with Him…just waiting on Him to act.

Conowingo RailRoad
(Darlington, MD)

Mark Batterson said it incredibly in his new book The Circle Maker: We must pray like it depends on God…and work like it depends on us. There are going to come moments in your life when you must ACT on the faith you have in Christ. Too many are waiting on God to shove them out into the fray, when He is standing at the door knocking just waiting on you to turn the knob.

TRUST HIM COMPLETELY! But we cannot allow ourselves to get caught up in the mindset that He is going to just magically work everything out. That once we choose to follow Him we can just sit back – relax – and enjoy the ride. This journey with Him does not work that way.

Jerusalem Mill
(Abingdon, MD)

 At some point in our physical lives, we must grow up. We come to a point that we have to stand on our own two feet and take responsibility for our life. 

It works the exact same way in our spiritual journey - We do what we can and God does what we can’t. That is why we trust and give our lives to Him. He is the ultimate Father and wants to see us become all that we were created to be. And like every good father, sometimes He steps back and lets us grow.

Trust in God but keep your powder dry. You never know when the fight is going to show up.  

HOLD

Do you ever find yourself needing peace and quiet after watching an action movie? The suspense that you feel throughout that hour and a half usually sets your nerves on end.
The ones that have the setting in a time ‘long ago’ are the ones that grab my attention quickly. These usually feature several scenes where either a country is fighting for its freedom, or where individuals have to defend what is their own. With the weapons that are available, it usually causes the squadron leader to hold back the troops until the enemy is right on top of them.

I can just hear Russell Crow or Mel Gibson shouting out…”HOLD! HOLD! HOLD YOUR FIRE! NOT YET!” The enemy is bearing down upon them, getting closer by the second. Yet, they have to wait while their trigger fingers are getting jumpy – their hearts are racing – and fear of the unknown consumes their thoughts.

WWII Memorial
(Washington, D.C.)

In life, we never leave the front lines. If you are participating and involved, life keeps coming and it’s picking up speed. We can see it coming with all its uncertainty and our flesh cries out to just start firing.

But what do you do when Jesus says, “HOLD! NOT YET!”

I don’t think I have to spend much time on what happens when we just start firing away at life.
- Things get said that we wish we could take back.
- We end up in places that we never meant to go.
- You might shoot down a couple of problems, but you will never win the war.

God has a purpose for this moment. I know life is bearing down on top of us with all its might…but do you trust your leader? Can you take your finger off the trigger and Hold? Scripture describes patience as a virtue, for it wars against our flesh and what our humanity screams out for.

(Forest Hill, MD)

Are we willing to HOLD in order for God to receive all glory for the victory that lies ahead of us? Understand, He has already been in the face of your circumstance long before you ever encountered it. In my imagination, I can see how the young soldier must have felt as the sweat beads formed on his forehead – his heart began to race – and the looks toward his commanding officer of, ‘Do you see coming at us what I see?!?’ 

Yet the commanding officer continues to shout out, “HOLD! HOLD! NOT YET!” The reason he could say those words with such confidence is because he has been here before.

Trust Him today. Look straight at life as it barrels down upon you…and Hold. Your leader has been here before.

II Chronicles 20:17: But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then STAND STILL and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you…Do not be afraid or discouraged.